Several years ago my world was rocked. My faith was shaken and I was struggling. I was struggling with God. I was struggling with the Bible. I was struggling with the question "why".
I am a Pastor's wife. I had been in church all my life. Yet, when the winds and storms started blowing in my life; I realized my foundation felt a bit shaky.
You see, two people that I was very close to passed away - my Pastor and one of my best friends. These were good people who were serving the Lord with all of their hearts. They were both young. They both had families and children. It didn't make any sense for God to take them home.
In my heart I could reconcile the fact that God;s ways are higher than man's and He knows what is best. I could deal with that, but there was something that was just not making any sense to me. THE BIBLE.
You see during both of my friends battle with cancer I scoured the Bible searching how to pray for them. I came across so many verses about faith. Verses that told me that if I ask anything in Jesus name He will do it. So I asked Him to heal my friends. But He didn't. I came across verses that told me that I could tell a mountain to move and it would if I just believed. So I did. The cancer didn't leave. I came across verses that said that if my friends were anointed with oil and prayed over and confessed their sin that the prayer of faith would save them. They were anointed. It didn't save their lives. They both died. And I began reeling.
How could I minister to people and comfort them from the Scriptures when the Scriptures didn't seem true. How could I continue to be a Pastor's wife. I was struggling. Either the Bible wasn't true or there was something about it that I was not understanding. So I began to ask. I began to search and praise God he brought spiritual servants of God across my path to show me the key to understanding the Bible that I was missing.
This book came about from my journey. It is a fictional account of people going through the same journey that I was on. It is still in the editing stages, but I thought I would post a few chapters to get some feedback.
The title of the book is: All Things
Chapter 1
Time was of
the essence. Pastor Jared Kirkpatrick glared at the bronze clock sitting on the
ornate mantel of the fireplace in his office. The clock had a face of solid
marble and hands carved out of ivory. Estimated
to be worth thousands of dollars, the clock had been a gift from one of his
wealthy political friends, of which Jared had quite a few. In fact, many were
members of his church. As his eyes scanned around his office they fell on
several expensive gifts from influential people of his community. Jared loved
to show off all of these special gifts . . . but most of all, the clock. As people
admired and asked about the beautiful bronze clock, he would drop the name of
his wealthy patron in a usually successful attempt to impress his admirer. However,
today was so completely different. There was to be no admiring of that clock or
any of his other trinkets. Today that clock brought only frustration and a
sense of disgust.
As second
after second ticked away, Pastor K, as most people referred to him, only grew
ever more anxious. It was a Sunday morning and already 10:15. Although the
immense auditorium was newly constructed, it was all already filled to capacity
with sixteen thousand souls. He had nothing to preach to them, nothing fresh at
least. Worse yet, his mind seemed completely blank. He could hear the praise
and worship team hyping the crowd, just like he paid them to. That’s why he
hired the best talent. They knew how to
stoke people’s adrenalin, which insured a positive response to whatever he
preached. After 45 minutes of singing and testifying, it was soon his turn to
take over the service. Yet, with so little time, he had still had nothing new
and fresh. And nothing was coming to him. Pastor K could hear voices getting
louder and the footsteps running down the hallway. He knew they were looking
for him. He knew he had to hurry, but this only added pressure, not results. He
had nothing to offer these people.
Nothing had stirred his soul for quite some
time. Eight years ago, when he had first taken over the church from his father,
he never remembered struggling like this as he developed his sermons. Maybe the
excitement from the newness of his position made the difference. He wasn’t
sure. Maybe he had preached everything he knew. Back then he could remember
being so excited to share with the people what he had gathered from his
studies. Of course, the church was much smaller too. Its size had nearly
quadrupled since he incorporated a more contemporary spin to the church’s
structure. His father was a great preacher, but too old fashioned to really
build a huge work. In fact, Pastor John Kirkpatrick was old school. He didn’t
use the fancy lighting or the worship teams. He preferred tent meetings with
organ music. Though their methods differed, their outcomes were still the same:
lots of singing, crying and testifying. Father and son were very similar in
their styles. Pastor K just updated and modernized what his father had begun. When
Pastor K started doing a monthly healing service broadcast live, finding a parking
space within walking distance was always a challenge. His father had done
healing services too, minus the technology Pastor K incorporated.
Services
were more energized and exciting then ever been before. But in the past year or
two, no matter how hard he tried, he no longer could come up with new material.
It was like this every week. Sure, there was lots of hype and excitement. There
were dynamic programs and record breaking results. People from all over the
world accredited changes in
their lives and health to him. People from all over the state of Arizona packed
the auditorium each and every week just to hear him speak, to watch his faith,
to see people healed. Yet, each and every Sunday, Pastor Jared Kirkpatrick
glared at the same clock and had the same struggle within. He just had nothing spiritual
to give them. He had words to say, but he knew there was no power behind what
he said.
Oh sure, he could motivate them. There were no
problems in Pastor K’s ability to motivate. After all they had just built a $78
million dollar building and that mortgage would not be hanging over their heads
for long. The funds were already starting to pour in after last week’s healing telethon.
They had raised millions already and all he had to do was stay up a little bit
later than normal and pray over people’s text messages and emails - for a
donation to the ministry of course. No, motivating people was not the problem.
Feeding people with flowery motivational
speeches over the last couple of years had been just fine. After all, that’s
what his audiences wanted. They wanted to come to a church that didn’t make
them feel guilty or place upon them any moral expectations. Though you might
find few who would admit it, much of his followers had come from other stricter
denominations and churches. They simply grew tired of obeying rules and felt
they could serve the Lord their own way. They wanted to leave church each week feeling
motivated and good about themselves, not hearing that Christians needed to
repent or turn away from the world. The people wanted to be encouraged and
leave energized. Others came for the special healing for their diseases and
ailments. They wanted to see miracles. They wanted to feel something
supernatural. And each and every week, Pastor K delivered on cue. Yet, every
Sunday morning sitting at his desk brought the same inner struggle to Jared.
He slammed his Bible closed and barked out
loud, “I’ve got nothing.” His fist pounded the top of his mahogany desk.
Once again he glared at the bronze clock. Showtime
in ten. Jared knew he had to quickly work some excitement up within himself. He
slid the bottom drawer of his desk open and pulled out a silver flask. Pastor
Kirkpatrick was not normally a heavy drinker, just socially, but this morning
he needed a special helping of the “Spirit.” He just didn’t have it and there
was no way he was going to face that crowd without some help from his old
friend Mr. Beam. He took a swig. And another. And another. After he popped a
few mints in his mouth, Pastor K grabbed last week’s message and headed out the
door. He would just rearrange it and add a few different illustrations. He had
done this numerous times before and no one ever seemed to notice or care. As
Pastor Jared Kirkpatrick rounded the corner, he realized that he had left
something on his office desk. He sent one of his aides to fetch it. It just
wouldn’t look right if he approached the pulpit without a Bible.
Chapter 2
“I
think we need about 20 more minutes of singing before they are primed.” Amelia
adjusted her earpiece.
This crowd was a tough one tonight. Usually by
now there would be tears flowing and people jumping out of their seats waving
their arms as if they were going to fly away.
“Get
the worship singers out there again. Slow down the music and turn the temperature
up five more degrees.”
The
worship singers made their way back out onto the platform.
“Make sure you show lots of energy and emotion.
Squeeze some tears out if you can.” Amelia spoke into her headset. “Oh, and
make them stand. This is taking way too long.”
Amelia
couldn’t figure out why this particular crowd was so difficult to win over. She
was an expert at audience manipulation. It was her job. She could produce tears
or anger, sadness or exuberance, shame or pity; all by changing lights, temperature,
music, and mood lighting. It really was a science. She had her Master’s degree
from Cornell University in this very art. She could have a crowd eating out of
the palm of her hand simply by speaking into her headset and giving commands to
her technicians. Amelia had worked for rock musicians, politicians, and movie
producers since graduating, but this was a first. Never in a million years had
she thought a church would have any interest in hiring her.
Nine months ago a representative for The Oasis
Church contacted her asking if she would be interested in working for their
ministry. The job didn’t pay quite as much as her other gigs – almost, but not
quite. But it would mean that she could settle down and stop traveling so much.
Most of Pastor K’s messages were preached from Phoenix. She would only have to
travel when he traveled to speak. Putting down roots sounded really good to
Amelia. Her daughter was about to turn 5 at the time and would need to start kindergarten
the
following year. Life as a single mom is never easy, but a single mom traveling
the country with a baby and a bunch of rock stars complicates matters beyond
comprehension. Amelia wasted little time accepting the position at The Oasis
Church. Church wasn’t really her thing, but this wasn’t really like going to
church. This was her job.
The
lead singer of the worship team, Tabby, was standing on the edge of the
platform. Tears were streaming down her face. Her arms were stretched up to the
sky, and she was gently swaying left and right. The audience mimicked her
movements. Tabby was a pro. She was a trained musician and actress--just what
was needed to head up Pastor K’s worship team. Usually, he would tell Tabby the
gist of his message, whether he wanted the people happy, sad, excited, or
fearful when he entered the pulpit. Tabby picked just the right songs, gave
just the right testimony and mustered up just the right emotion. By the time Pastor
K entered the pulpit, the people were putty in his hands.
“I want to
hear from Jesus tonight,” Tabby said in her soft southern voice, “What about
you?”
The crowd
answered back, “Yesssssss!”
“I know I
need to hear from Him tonight. How about you? Do you need to hear from him
tonight?”
“Yessssss!!”
The crowd replied. Many now were in tears.
“Keep it up
Tabby, they’re almost ready.” Amelia spoke into her headset. “One more worship
song. Have them sing ‘Jesus, fill me’.”
Amelia knew
that Pastor K had planned to “slay” the crowd in the Spirit tonight. That song
would prep the audience for him to come out and do it right away. They would
sing those same words 30 or 40 times until it was ingrained in their
subconscious and would easily follow the command to be “slain.”
The crowd swayed back and forth
singing “Jesus, fill me. Fill me with Your Spirit. Fill me. Fill me. Fall on me
today.” They sang it over and over with their hands locked together and their
arms stretched up into the air.
Amelia
looked over the crowd and smiled to herself. They were eating out of the palm
of her hand. “I think they are ready for you, Pastor K,” she spoke into her
headset.
While the
worship song was still sung quietly in the background, Pastor K quietly made
his way to the center of the stage. People still had their hands locked
together and arms stretched into the air as the audience hushed.
“I sense
the Holy Spirit is in this place, tonight!” Pastor K moved closer to the edge
of the platform. “Do you want His filling?”
“Yessssss!” The audience
shouted.
“Do you
want it tonight?” Pastor K walked to the far side of the platform.
“Yesssss!!”
The reply was growing more ecstatic each time it was asked.
“If you
want the Spirit to fall upon you tonight, you have to have faith. You have to
believe that He will do this. The Bible describes his filling
like a rushing wind. His filling is strong and powerful. This is the kind of
power that you don’t want to miss. The kind of power that knocks you back; so
that you know HE IS LORD!”
Pastor K
was nearly shouting now. The audience was responding back, “Yes, He is Lord!!”
“Then in
the name of Jesus Christ, BE FILLED!!!!” Pastor K shouted this last command and
pushed his palm toward the audience.
A gasp went
through the crowd and 16,000 people were knocked back into their seats all at
once.
Amelia Bannan
nodded her head in approval and high fived her assistant, Lynn. “We did it.”
Chapter 3
Adam
and Kara just stared at each other. Could they have heard right?
“Could
you repeat that?” Adam asked Doctor Hansen.
Dr.
Hansen smiled at the young couple. Many times when he sat across his desk from
patients, he wasn’t delivering good news. But on this rare occasion, he got
this pleasure. It was probably the only reason he was still in this line of
work.
Dr. Hansen
leaned forward, a huge smile beginning to form at the corners of his mouth.
“I
said the cancer has disappeared. I did the scan myself and had three colleagues
offer their opinions. We all have come to the same conclusion, Kara. You are
cancer free.”
Adam
pulled Kara into his chest and kissed her on the top of the head. He couldn’t
speak right now. He just buried his face in her hair and tried to regain his
composure. He wasn’t a crier. Even when they had received the bad news of her
having cancer, he hadn’t allowed himself to cry. At least not when anyone could
see him. He had to be strong – for Kara and for their two girls, Meg and Tessa.
But now the doctor was saying that he didn’t have to be strong anymore. He was
saying that this awful nightmare of the past year was behind them. Try as he might
to hold back his tears, Adam Gardner couldn’t. The lump in his throat that he
had been trying to swallow was literally about to burst out.
Kara
could see her strong husband crumbling. It was about time that he let it all
out. Dr. Hansen had left the room to give them some privacy. She turned around
and pulled his head down on her shoulder. She kissed the top of his head.
“Go
ahead, Adam. Let it out.” Kara buried her face in his hair while he sobbed
tears that had been bottled up for months. It seemed like the whole world
stopped for them right there and then.
A gentle
knock on the door brought Adam back to reality. He wiped his shirt sleeve across
his eyes and quickly stood to his feet. It was Dr. Hansen checking in on them. He
gave them some follow-up instructions. He wanted Kara to do a few more
precautionary radiation treatments. When Adam and Kara started out the door for
their car, Dr. Hansen was literally scratching his head in amazement. He had
never seen anything like this before. The tumor in Kara’s liver had
disappeared. Last month he had given the Gardner’s a prognosis that was not
very optimistic. Her body had failed to respond to any of the treatments. He
had even given her a new kind of drug still in the testing phase, but he placed
little hope in its effectiveness. Only a miracle would save that young woman
from impending death and now it appeared they had gotten their miracle. The
doctor was anxious to begin his report concerning the results of this new drug.
And Dr. Hansen was happy for them. It was very depressing to watch people die
from cancer especially when they were young and had a family dependent upon
them. Kara Gardner had two girls under age ten. Kara was an unbelievable mom
and took such good care of them. Adam was a nice enough guy, but Dr. Hansen
just couldn’t picture him being able to balance work and kids. Yes, it was a
good thing that Kara had gotten her miracle.
“We have to
celebrate.” Adam started up the engine of their minivan. “Do you realize that
today is our anniversary too?”
Kara hadn’t
even given the anniversary a second thought. In the past few months she hadn’t
been keeping track of anything except how many more days she had left with her
husband and children. The thought consumed her every waking moment. She had
already started to write letters to the girls for all the special occasions
that she would miss in their lives. Just last week she had wept over the letter
that Adam would give to Meg on her wedding day. She had made scrapbooks for
Tessa with lots of picture of herself holding Tessa. The thought that little
Tessa would probably not even remember her crushed her spirit the most.
“Yes, we
definitely need to celebrate. But before we go out, can we stop by the church? Pastor
K will be so excited to hear our news!” Kara asked.
Two weeks earlier,
Pastor K had held one of his monthly healing services. It was an amazing night.
Kara and Adam arrived three hours early to insure a seat close to the front. They
knew that Kara’s only hope was a miracle. The doctors said that there was
nothing more that they could do for her. They had told her to make the most of
the days she had left. But Kara could feel inside of her – she could feel in
every fiber of her being that her life wasn’t over.
Adam had to
almost carry her up to the platform to be prayed over. Pastor K never claimed
to have any special powers of healing. He always said that the healing came
from the Lord; he was just the vessel that poured out the oil. He always
stressed that it was your faith that would make you whole. Some people just
could not believe that the Lord could do the impossible and therefore could not
receive His healing.
Kara had
been reading in her devotions everyday about faith. Just that week she had been
reading in James. In James 5:14 and 15 Kara came across these verses.
Is any
sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray
over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of
faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up…
Kara read the passage over and over again. This
time she read the words very carefully. As her finger trailed along each word
of the passage Kara became more and more hopeful. The third time she read the
verses her finger stopped on the word – “shall.” James chapter 5 verse 15 was
saying that if the elders of the church anointed her with oil and prayed over
her; the prayer of faith SHALL raise her up! That was a promise. Kara had
always been taught to look for those “promise” words in the Bible. She took out
her yellow highlighter and marked the word “shall.”
She
immediately called her husband on his cell phone. Adam was in the living room,
but because she was so weak she used her cell phone so she did not have to try
to holler through the house. Adam was downstairs watching his Arizona
Diamondbacks play the Pittsburgh Pirates when his phone rang.
“Adam, you
have to come up here right now!”
Adam didn’t
know whether to be worried or not. Kara sounded nearly out of breath. He hadn’t
heard that much excitement in her voice in months. Adam quickly bounded up the
stairs taking two at a time. He had taken his shoes off at the door when he
came home and was now in stocking feet. As he sprinted down the hallway on the
hardwood floor, Adam’s feet slid out from under him and he crashed into Kara’s
bedroom and landed square on his backside with a thud.
“What’s the
matter, sweetheart?” Adam said from the floor looking up at his startled wife.
“What in
the world are you running for? I just wanted to show you something.” Kara put
her hand over her mouth to suppress the giggle that was trying to come out.
“I thought
something was wrong! You said come up right now.” Adam pulled himself up off
the floor. His pants were covered in dust from the floor. A twinge of guilt ran
through him as he realized he hadn’t been doing a very good job of keeping the
house clean. Kara had always kept it spotless, but when she became too weak to
do it anymore he had promised to pitch in.
“No dear,”
Kara smiled. “Nothing is wrong. Actually, I wanted to show you some good news.”
Adam was
confused. A million thoughts ran through his head of what his sick wife
possibly had to show him. He sat down on the edge of the bed and waited for her
explanation.
Kara
scooted over so she could lay her Bible on both of their laps and show him the
passage in James chapter 5 that she had just read. Adam read the passage
through several times. He saw that she had highlighted the word “shall.” Adam
smiled at his wife. Her faith in the Lord had always amazed him. They were both
believers and both of them attended and served in their church, but Kara’s
relationship with the Lord was on a completely different level than his. In
fact, she was a stronger Christian than most of the people they fellowshipped
with at their church.
“You’re
claiming this, aren’t you?” Adam read the verse one more time – the prayer of faith SHALL save the sick. It
sure did seem like that was a promise.
“Adam, how
could I not claim it? It’s our only hope.” Kara’s eyes were wide and she was
praying in her heart that the Lord would give her husband the same faith that
she had.
“But what
does it mean by “the prayer of faith”? Adam knew that the Lord could heal his
wife. There was no doubt in the Lord’s ability, but Adam had always thought
that the primary key for any healing was the Lord’s will, not the individual’s
faith. When he read this verse again, it seemed to be saying that the Lord
would save her if they had enough faith.
“I’m not
sure exactly. Why don’t we call the church and see if one of the pastors can
come over and clearly explain the verse.” Kara was a little disappointed. She
had hoped her husband would have had the same reaction she did when he saw the
verse. Kara knew that Pastor K would have a healing service at the end of the
week and now she desperately wanted to go.
Adam
promised to call the church first thing in the morning. In the mean time, they
decided that each of them would do their own Bible study on the topic of faith.
Kara had already been doing her own research about prayer and faith in the
Bible. She was confident that Adam would come to the same conclusion she had
come to after he read the faith verses.
Kara slipped a piece of paper out of her Bible
and handed it to Adam. “Here, honey, start with these passages.”
Adam just
shook his head and smiled at his wife. “Why do I feel like I just got set up?”
Kara
laughed. “Just read them and tell me what you think.” Kara’s face became much
more serious. “I love you, Adam, and I want to spend many more years with you. We
can’t rule anything out. We’ve got to try.”
Adam nodded
and took the piece of notebook paper back downstairs. He placed it on the
coffee table and picked up the remote. Adam turned the volume back up on the Diamondbacks’
game. It was the bottom of the eighth inning and the score was tied at two. He
would read his wife’s study notes when the game was over. He tried his best to
focus on the game, but the last words that came from his precious wife kept
echoing through his mind.
“I want to spend many more years with you. We
can’t rule anything out.”
No, Adam
couldn’t chance losing his dear wife. She was everything to him. He knew
without her his life would fall apart. She was his glue. She really was the whole
family’s glue. She kept everything running smoothly, even now that she was too
weak to get up – she still kept everyone organized and motivated. The girls
hadn’t missed one swim practice, dance recital, or horseback lesson yet. If she
had her cell phone near her she could orchestrate anything. Concentration on
the game was over; Adam clicked the TV remote and picked up Kara’s notes. She
had written on the top in big bold letters the word – FAITH????
Adam was
about to reach for his Bible when he realized that his wife had written out
each verse and even whole chapters in their entirety. She had notes scribbled
all down the sides of the paper and words highlighted in every passage. She
indeed was quite serious about studying this matter in great depth.
The first
verse she had written down was Matthew
7:7. Ask, and it shall be given
you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
Underneath
the verse Kara had written: I am asking,
Lord – no, I’m begging!
It was so
hard for Adam to keep reading. These were his wife’s most intimate thoughts to
the Lord, but she had handed them to him. She wanted him to see them. Adam read
further.
Matthew 18:19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you
shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done
for them of my Father which is in heaven.
The words written under
this passage brought
tears to his eyes. Kara had drawn a big
question mark and written – I don’t
understand. Adam and I and many others have all prayed for my healing. We have
agreed! When will you do it, Father?
The next passage that Kara had written down was a lengthy one, but Adam
could tell that it was one of her favorites. She had circled it several times and
highlighted every word of one of the verses. She had even drawn a big smiley
face in the margin beside it.
Matthew 21:18-22 Now in the morning as he returned into the
city, he hungered.
And
when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon,
but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward forever.
And presently the fig tree withered away.
And
when the disciples saw it, they
marveled, saying, How soon is the fig tree withered away!
Jesus
answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt
not, ye shall not only do this which
is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be
thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.
And
all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
Adam read the words in verse 21 that Kara
had highlighted. “If ye have faith, and
doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if
ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the
sea; it shall be done.” Kara had furiously circled the words – “and doubt not”.
Adam was beginning to feel the hope that he
saw in his wife. With every passage he read from her notes, Adam became more
and more confident that the Lord was going to heal his wife. They just needed
to believe and not
doubt.
Adam picked up the phone and
dialed the number for the Oasis Church. He had promised his wife that he would
call to ask for help understanding what exactly the “prayer of faith” meant. After several minutes on hold, Adam was told by a secretary that none
of the pastors were available to come out and make a visit to their home. She did,
however, let him know that he was welcome to come by the bookshop and purchase the DVD of last month’s healing
service. She said that Pastor K preached an amazing sermon about faith. She
assured him that the DVD would answer all of his questions.
Adam was a bit discouraged that
no one had the time to make a visit with his family, but he understood that in
a ministry of that magnitude it must be very difficult to help everyone. He
picked up the DVD on his way home from work the next day. He and Kara watched
it together. Pastor K did indeed preach a moving message. He confirmed the conclusion
that both Kara and her husband had reached. They
just needed to have true faith. Nothing wavering. No doubts. And they didn’t. Adam
and Kara went to the next healing service fully convinced that she would be
healed. She was anointed with oil and prayed over, just like the Bible showed
them to do in the
book of James. They walked out of the service truly
convinced that Kara’s cancer was gone. That next day was Kara’s scheduled appointment
with Dr. Hansen for a full body scan.
Now as Adam and Kara sat in the car, wiping away their tears of joy over
the news that the tumor was gone; they thanked God for His miraculous works to the children of men. And they wanted to thank Pastor
K for being God’s willing vessel.
Heather heard shouting coming from the basement. She assumed that her
husband was watching the Cleveland Browns get pummeled by some other football
team again. It amazed her that he was such a loyal fan despite the fact that
they had been away from Cleveland for so many years. It had been ten years
since them moved to Arizona to start a church, but from the way her husband Wes
rooted for every Ohio-based team, no one could ever guess that they had been gone from Ohio for so long. Heather grabbed a diet cola and some pretzels to take down
to her husband for a snack. Food always seemed to make the sting of another
Brown’s loss hurt less.
“I brought you something to take your mind off the game.” Heather said as
she walked down the stairs to the family room.
“I’m not watching a game.” Wes took the diet cola and pretzels anyway.
Heather looked at the screen. “Then what has you
so riled up that you are hollering at the TV?”
Wes turned up the volume on the TV and replied, “Pastor Jared
Kirkpatrick, that’s who.”
Heather sat down on the couch next to her husband. She listened for a few
minutes as a very dynamic preacher, with a very large church spoke about
planting seeds of faith. Pastor K really was an entertaining speaker. He was humorous
and dramatic. He moved all around the platform and engaged his audience. But
Heather also could see why his preaching was driving her husband crazy – the message was absent of
the most important element—the scriptures! To top it off, the scriptures that he did use were taken totally out of context and
sounded more like a passage from a modern novel than the Bible. Pastor K mainly
used personal illustrations and funny stories to drive home his point.
This kind of preaching always got under her husband’s skin. He had grown
up in a church very similar to this and had believed in and participated in
this kind of “worship” for years. In fact, the first church that her husband,
Wes Cambell, had pastored was very similar to the church that they were
watching on TV. The similarities were not in the size of the churches, the
Cambell’s only had a little over one hundred people in their church. It was the
message and the philosophy. For five years Wes Cambell had tried to “create” faith
in his people. As the pastor, Wes felt it was his job to motivate people to
live a more fulfilled life.
Every Sunday he would speak about living abundantly. He would tell his
congregation that it was not the will of the Lord for anyone to be sick or poor
or discouraged. He would tell his congregation that God had a bigger plan for
his children. After all, they were heirs together with God. Wes really believed
back then that it was God’s will for every Christian to be wealthy, healthy and
prosperous. It just required true faith. You just had to change the way you
looked at things and the way you talked about things. If you are always talking
about how poor you are or how bad you feel then you are not practicing true
faith. He would take them to passages in the Bible like Proverbs 12:18 where
the Bible says that the tongue of the wise is health. From there he would
preach a whole message about positive speaking. He would tell his people that
they could command miracles from the Lord. “Tell that mountain to move and it
must obey you.”
As Wes Cambell listened to Pastor Kirkpatrick preach, he heard many
phrases that he himself had used on his people. Daggers of guilt pierced through
his heart every time he thought about the opportunities he had wasted in that
first church that he had pastored. He had just been repeating the same message
he had heard growing up. When he was preaching those messages, he truly
believed in what he was telling the people. In fact, he practiced the methods
that he taught in his own life. Wes Cambell knew however, that he was
neglecting the study of the scriptures. He had been trained in seminary that
the Holy Spirit would tell him what to preach. The scriptures were helpful but
the Holy Spirit would give him a revelation as to what to say to the people. Many
times, Wes would stand in front of his congregation with no notes or outline
and just say whatever came to his mind. He believed it was given to him by the
Holy Spirit.
A small tear began to form in the corner of her eye as Heather Cambell
watched Pastor K anoint a group of people with oil and pray over them. A memory
that was almost too painful to relive again began to surface. Heather
remembered kneeling that same way near the pulpit of a church. Once again she
could feel the coolness of the oil dripping onto her forehead and down her
temple. But most of all she could remember how she felt that night. Confident. Confident
that the Lord would finally bless her with a child.
There was nothing in this entire world that Heather and Wes wanted more
than a baby. They decided to start a family right away. Heather had dreamed
about being a mother her whole life. She was naturally drawn to children and
she was wonderful with them. Three months after their wedding, they discovered
that Heather was pregnant. They went through the whole baby preparation
process. They bought the crib and decorated the nursery. They had the baby
shower and took pregnancy family pictures. They picked out names and bought the
first outfit. Heather was on cloud nine. She couldn’t have been any happier.
Wes and Heather normally attended each doctor’s visit together, but on
one particular day Wes had a meeting to go to so Heather had to go alone. She
was in her third trimester and feeling fine. The doctor decided to hook up a
fetal monitor so Heather could hear the baby’s heart beating. As the doctor was
attempting to find the heartbeat, Heather remembered the concern on his face as
he looked up at her and asked how she was doing. Heather’s heart began to race
as she realized that there was something wrong with her baby. The doctor could not
find a heartbeat. Immediately, she was rushed to the hospital. Heather remembered
trying to contact her husband. She kept calling his phone over and over again but
he never answered. She would come to learn later that he had accidentally left his
cell phone in his car while in his meeting.
There in that cold hospital room all by herself she was told that her
baby was dead. No one knew why or could give her any explanation as to what
happened. They sent her home with a dead baby in her womb and scheduled her to
come back the following evening to deliver the deceased child. Heather waited
on the couch of her home until her husband, Wes, came home from work. When he
walked in the door and looked at her he immediately knew that someone had died.
Her eyes were swollen and her face was splotchy. She looked at him and without
saying a word put his hand on her swollen belly. All she did was shake her head
and he knew that he had lost his firstborn son. Grief overwhelmed them. It
would hit even harder the next day when Heather had to go through the
excruciating labor pains of child birth only to be handed a cold lifeless body
wrapped up in the special blanket that she had embroidered with her son’s name.
Heather and Wes were overcome with sorrow, but their church rallied
around them with prayer and comfort. The Lord helped them heal and soon they
were ready to try again. Never in their worst nightmare could they have
imagined what the next several years would hold. Heather conceived again. They
went through the baby preparation process again. Crib. Nursery. Pictures. Names.
Baby Shower. Everything was ready.
Heather was at home one ordinary Saturday morning. She was in her third
trimester and feeling a bit huge but otherwise fine. Suddenly, she realized how
long it had been since she last felt the baby move. This was unusual because
the little girl she was carrying was a very active kicker. Just to be on the
safe side they decided to head to the E.R. to insure that everything was okay. The
doctor at the hospital hooked up a fetal monitor to Heather trying to find the
baby’s heartbeat. It was déjà vu all over again.
They could find no heart beat. They could give no explanation. All they
knew was that their baby girl was dead. And once again Heather had to go
through the delivery process again. Only to be handed a cold, blue baby girl
wrapped in the pink blanket Heather had embroidered with her name.
The doctors could offer no explanation. They did all kinds of tests on
her and on her deceased baby, but still no cause could be determined why this
child too had died. Heather and Wes were now terrified to have another baby but
the doctors assured them that the chances of this happening a third time was very
unlikely. They could find no medical reason that the other two children had
passed away. Still, the pain and hurt from losing two children made Heather and
Wes postpone having anymore children.
Heather didn’t know if she could ever try again for a baby. The hurt was
just too much to bear. She knew that she would lose her mind if she ever lost
another baby. She had almost decided it was not worth the pain of trying again
when she learned that she was pregnant. As Heather read the test in the
bathroom she immediately bent over the commode and lost the contents of her
stomach. She knew this was not morning sickness but sheer fear. It was from the
terror that she felt in her heart.
Heather didn’t tell Wes or anyone else for three full weeks. She knew
that she had to get a tighter control on her emotions before she could share the
news with anyone. For those three weeks Heather wrestled with God. She spent
hours in prayer asking God why he would do this to her. She desired peace. She
needed comfort. She found neither.
When Heather finally told Wes about the baby, He was ecstatic. Heather
was shocked. She was sure that he would have the same fears and trepidation
that she did. Yet, he was so calm. He was sure that God would give them this
child. Wes shared with her that he believed God wanted them to be shining
examples of faith for their church family.
God wanted to show Himself strong through their example. They would
announce the coming of this baby to the church and claim God’s healing promises
on Heather. They would believe and not doubt. After all, Wes announced in
church, “If we ask for anything in Jesus name, He will give it to us.” Wes
proclaimed that the Lord only wants the best things for His children. We are
joint-heirs with Jesus and we have the power to claim all of the promises in
the Bible.
With every powerful word spoken by Wes from the pulpit, Heather grew more
and more confident that the Lord would give her a baby this time. Slowly over
the next month as she listened to her husband preach about true faith she began
to experience that feeling too. She decided to call the elders of the church
and ask to be anointed with oil. It was a sweet, sweet service. Heather and Wes
were surrounded by the loving, caring members of their church as the elders
anointed Heather and prayed for the precious little baby inside of her womb. Heather
and Wes were the embodiment of faith. A real life example for their people.
They just knew that the Lord would show himself strong and mighty by
giving them a healthy baby this time. This was their third baby shower. They picked
a name and again decorated the nursery. Heather even embroidered another
blanket, and they knew the result would be different this time.
But once again, in the third trimester, Heather was told that her baby
boy was dead. That was the moment that her world completely unraveled. It
wasn’t from sorrow. Yes, she was very sad about losing another baby, but this
time it was different. This time she had put herself out there as a public
example of faith. The Lord was supposed to prove Himself mighty through their
lives. How could everything go so terribly wrong?
Heather was confused and bewildered. She knew she had obeyed the Bible,
especially the book of James. She had been anointed and had truly believed. She
knew there was no doubt in her heart. She had confessed all of her sins. What
had gone wrong? Heather was desperate to know and the more she studied the more
confused she became. There were just so many verses about having true faith,
but they just didn’t seem to work.
Heather came to the conclusion that one of two things had happened. Either
the Bible was a book of lies or she wasn’t understanding something about the
Bible. It was like there was a hidden key to understanding the Bible but she lacked
the key. She didn’t know for sure which of scenario was right, but either way
she felt as if the Bible was totally useless to her.
.jpg)
