Why is My House Filled with Girls?!?!?!

These are my lovely daughters.  They mean the world to me, but I have to tell you honestly that I never wanted girls.  You see, I was the only girl in my family.  I have all brothers.  I understand boys.  I am familiar with boys.  I get how they work, but girls are a mystery to me.  I know what you are thinking.  You are thinking that statement makes no sense because I am a female.  Yes, I am a female, but I have never considered myself a GIRL.  At least I have never felt that I was very similar to all the GIRLS around me.

I was raised by a single father from the time that I was young, so my house was literally filled with all boys.  I played boys games.  I watched boys shows.  I can remember many evenings in our house watching WWF wrestling and acting out the matches with my brothers afterwards.  Amazingly, I never really turned into a tom boy.  I still had baby dolls and Barbie dolls and stuffed animals, but I could transition from them right into transformers with out any problem.  I was never a girlie girl though.  I never matched (thanks to my color blind dad).  I didn't even own a brush until 6th grade.  My dad was bald and my brothers had crew cuts.  My dad owned one little black comb, the kind that men carry in their pocket that I would use once in a while.  I can remember changing from a Christian school to a public school in 6th grade and realizing that I didn't look anything like those girls.  They looked cute and stylish.  Their hair looked smooth and neat.  Mine looked like a rat's nest.  Luckily, I have always been one who could adapt easily, so I asked for a hairbrush and hair products for Christmas.  I learned how to match clothes and didn't get made fun of for too long. 

All of my life I feel that I have been playing catch up with the other girls.  I just recently subscribed to some YouTube videos demonstrating how to wear eye makeup.  I know, 35 is a little old to be learning things like that, but I working on it.  I feel like I am almost caught up with all of the other girls in appearance and femininity, but there is still one area that I am lacking and desperately working on.  That area is how to relate to women.

This is something that I have always struggled with.  I literally feel like running in the opposite direction when I see a group of women talking.  I get butterflies in my stomach and I feel very uncomfortable.  I am terrible at small talk.  My dad is a direct person.  There was not a lot of chit chat in our home.  I am just not used to it.  I take after my father in many ways.  I got his calm even temper.  There are not a lot of things that get us worked up.  We are pretty even keeled.  I have always been that way, so when I get around women that are emotional and high strung and talk a lot, I just don't know what to do.  I don't understand them.  I don't relate to them.  This is a problem!

This is a problem because it is my job to help them.  I am a Pastor's wife.  I am in charge of the ladies' ministry of our church.  God has called me to this job.  I have often wondered if He really knew what He was doing when he decided to place me in this position. (Joking) And I really wondered if He knew what he was doing when I delivered each of my 3 girls. (My husband calls them strike 1,2, and 3.)  Really Lord?  Three girls?  And these are not 3 low, key unemotional girls.  He gave me 3 emotional, prissy girlie girls.  But the Lord didn't stop with that practical joke.  One of my best friends passed away from cancer a few years ago and left behind three daughters.  The girls' father works in Pittsburgh, so they come to my house almost every day after school.  They stay with us and eat with us and play with my girls.  That gives me 6 girls!  My poor husband!  Even the dog is a girl.

Is this a cruel joke on me from God?  On some days it seems like it, but when I stop to see the bigger picture I realize that it is really a help.  I didn't interact with a lot of women growing up.  I didn't have many girl friends.  It was not my fault and there was nothing that I could do about it.  But God has a plan for me.  He has a ministry that he wants me to thrive in and it is a ministry to women.  I realize that through all of the girls in this house he is allowing me to once again play catch up.  He gave me girls to soften me and tenderize my heart.  He gave me emotional girls to help me see that there are all kinds of women with all kinds of personalities that are worth my time and my efforts.  He gave me hurting girls so that I could learn compassion.  You see God gave me all of these girls - to help me.  Because he loves me.  Because he wants to be able to use me.

And once again I come to the realization that God has always had a plan for me. 
Romans 8:28   And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

 

Blessed beyond measure,

Rachel