Thank God for the Mess!!

I was sitting in my living room this week when the walls started to shake.  The pictures on the walls were falling off the nails.  My husband was not home at the time so I had to assess the problem myself.  I waited a few minutes and the shaking stopped.  I thought, "Wonderful!  No more problem!"  Ignoring situations is my way of dealing with things.  Five minutes later when my furnace kicked on the shaking started again.  I went down to my laundry room where my furnace was located and saw that it had black smoke billowing out of it. (That's not good!)  I went back upstairs and sat on the couch.  My husband would be home in a few minutes and I would let him deal with it.  After all, if I can't see the problem - it will go away, right?  As I sat there I started to smell gas fumes.  Now I couldn't ignore it.  I grabbed the kids and headed out of the door.  I looked back almost positive that my house was going to blow up any minute.  We were all in our pajamas and I thought to myself : "These aren't even my favorite pair.  If I am going to be left with only the clothes on my back I wish I would have changed first!"  We took shelter in the gymnasium of our church while we waited for my husband to get home - in our pajamas.  And of course it was full of people.  There was a basketball game going on.

The next day the repair man came and fixed it.  He informed us that we were lucky the whole house didn't catch fire.  In the process of repairing it everything in my laundry room got caked in black soot.  I had just recently painted and remodeled that room.  So you can guess how I have spent many hours today.  Scrubbing and re-scrubbing EVERYTHING!!!  I look a bit like the chimney sweep from Mary Poppins.

I was frustrated!  Very frustrated!  Until I thought about how lucky I was to have things to scrub.  You see God reminded me of several friends of mine who just recently lost everything they had in a tornado in Washington, IL.  That is the town that I grew up in.  As I follow them on Facebook I see the struggles they are having building back their houses from the ground up.  They are having to list every item that they owned and research replacement prices for new items for their insurance companies.  Can you imagine the headache of that?  Yet they are not complaining.  They are thanking the Lord that their lives were spared.

So today, I will scrub each item with joy, because it very possibly could have all been taken away in a fiery explosion.  And I will remember that in every trial I face, someone has it worse than I do.



A blessed mess,
Rachel

I Think That I am Going To Start Playing Favorites!

I try to be fair.  I try to treat each of my children equally.  At Christmas they each had the same amount of gifts. If they want to run errands with me, I take them all so that no one feels left out.  If I buy one candy from the store, I buy them all candy from the store.  If one child gets to sleep in my room because they are sick or having a bad dream then I will have roommates for the next 3 days so that everyone gets a turn.It takes a great deal of effort for a mom to be equal and fair to all of her children. I have never wanted any of them to feel like they are left out or that I don't love them as much.  I think that is every mother's goal.

BUT IT IS NOT WORKING!!!!  Let me explain.  This Christmas my oldest daughter wanted mostly gift cards to her favorite stores in the mall.  That worked for me, so I bought them and put them in a card for her to open on Christmas.  Cards are always handed out last after all of the other gifts.  She had opened many gifts from other family members and a few small ones from us when the card was handed to her.  Inside the card I wrote a message.  I told her we would go to the mall together just her and I and spend a few hours on a mommy daughter date so she could use the gift cards.  I saw my daughter light up.  She put the gift cards in the pile of presents and read the card again.  She looked over at me and I could see it in her eyes.  She felt special!  It wasn't the gift cards.  It was the time spent alone with me that she was so excited about.

You see, in my attempt to be fair and equal all of the time so that no one felt left out - they all felt left out.  No one felt special.  They felt like the time that I devoted to them was out of duty because I had devoted time to one of the other kids and had to equal everything out.

I realized then that I need to change my style of parenting.  I need to pattern myself after the way that God cares for His children.  Remember the song "He loves me like I was His only child"?  That song is so relevant to our relationship with our Heavenly Father.  Just think about how many Christians there are in this world yet we still can have such a close personal relationship with him.  Not every Christian makes the same amount of money or drives matching cars.  And when God blesses one Christian He doesn't bless every Christian so no one feels left out.  Yet because of our closeness to Him, we don't get angry because we know that He loves us and He has blessed us in so many ways before.

That is how I want to parent.  I want to have such a relationship with my kids that they don't feel left out or angry when one of the other children gets blessed because they know that I love them and they know that they have received blessings many times before. I want them to feel special  I want them to sometimes feel as if they were an only child.

So that is why I am going to start playing favorites - with all of them! 

Blessed,

Rachel

I Wanna Be Rich

I want money lots and lots of money!  I wanna be rich!

Now be honest.  Did you just flash back to 1989 and sing those lyrics?  Maybe it's just me.

 

This week my family flew to Phoenix AZ to celebrate Christmas with my family who lives there.  It was quite an expensive trip.  We had to pay for the airfare for 5 people plus suitcases and golf bags.  We had to purchase gifts for 19 people who would be at the Christmas celebration.  We wanted to be able to chip in and cover some meals and groceries.  My husband wanted to golf.  I wanted a mani/pedi while we were there.  It was quite an expensive trip.  My husband is a pastor and we don't make a whole lot.  All of our needs are met but there is not a ton extra at the end of each check so I started selling on eBay for some additional income.  This is what we call our "play" money.  We don't want to overextend ourselves and use it as income because you just never know if it is going to be a good eBay week or a slow one.  We use the play money to take trips and buy fun things for the family.  That is what paid for our entire trip to Disney World and it also funded our most recent trip to Phoenix and bought all of the presents and things.

 

While we were there I went out golfing with my husband.  We were at a VERY nice country club.  The kind with dress codes and things.  This is not typical for us.  It was a big splurge.  We decided to eat lunch in the restaurant on the course.  As we were sitting there, I started to people watch.  It is one of my favorite pastimes.  It drives my husband crazy.  I was watching all of the people who "belonged" there.  You could tell just by looking at them.  They talk different.  They dress different.  They carry themselves different.  You could pick them out as having a boat load of money probably just as easily as you could tell that Matt and I didn't.

 

At one point I leaned over to my husband and made this statement.  "Do you think they realize how blessed they are or do you think that they take it for granted?"

 

As soon as the statement left my mouth the Holy Sprit pricked my heart and asked me the very same question.  "Rachel, do you know how blessed you are or do you take it for granted?"

 

Sometimes it is so easy to compare our lives with others and forget about all of the good things that the Lord has done for us.  It is easy to say "I wanna be rich" and forget that we really already are.  So I am dedicating my last post of 2013 to brag about my wealth!

- I have 3 healthy, beautiful girls

-My husband adores me and treats me like a queen

-My husband has not been hospitalized with his Crohn's disease at all this year

-I do not have cancer

-I have been able to visit with all of my family this year

-I have a great church

-We are debt free

-My parents and grandparents are still alive

-I have a warm dry beautiful house

-I have great friends

-Jesus Christ has redeemed me

-I have a brand new van

-All of my children have accepted Jesus as their Savior

 

The list goes on and on and on  And I wouldn't trade it for any country club membership anywhere!!

 

Blessed,

Rachel

"Mom, look at that woman!"

"Mom, look at that woman!" said my 5 year old as we checked out of a store yesterday.  She was referring to the cashier who had numerous body piercings and tattoos. Thank the Lord that my daughter waited until we were walking out the door to make her comment so the lady didn't hear her.  I have many stories like this with all 3 of my girls.  In this crazy world that we live in, I am sure that you do too.

And here begins the tightrope walk - that delicate balancing act of teaching them morals and standards without turning them into judgmental Christians.  And it is hard - very hard!  We have been commanded by Christ to not be conformed to this world, but to be transformed.

Rom 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
I truly believe that God has a very high standard for His people and I want my children to learn that principal, but I have to handle the process very delicately.  Giving them a list of what I believe is wrong for Christians to do will never work.  It will only make them see what everyone around them is doing wrong.  "That girl's skirt is too short!"  "That guy needs to cut his hair!"  "Did you hear that man cuss?"  You get the picture, and while all of those things might be true - pointing them out certainly doesn't help my children or the person who might be in error.

So what do we do?  Do we throw out any standards in an attempt to not be judgmental.  Do we just stop teaching our children about the fact that God wants His people to be different and act different from the world?  No way!

We need to teach our children to be transformed into the image of God.  We need to guide them in standards and morals, but most importantly they need to see us love those who don't hold to the same standards.  My husband has a saying, "Unsaved people do unsaved things - Don't be surprised by it!"  This is what I teach my children.  When they see someone who is doing something that they know is wrong or displeasing to the Lord, I try to remind them that the person may not know Jesus.  They might not have had the privilege of being raised in a Christian home.  And then we go out of our way to be kind to that person.  It teaches them compassion instead of judgment.  That is exactly what Jesus did when he walked this earth.  You never see Jesus drop His standards, but you do see him show compassion on the unsaved.

What about people that they know are saved?  Here is where the tightrope gets even harder.  There are probably no 2 people in our church with the exact same standards.  Some ladies wear pants.  Some don't.  Some people smoke.  Some don't.  Some people listen to rock music.  Some don't.  I know that it can be very confusing for kids.  They have been taught a set of guidelines from their parents and then they go to church with truly good Christian folks, but they believe a little bit differently from what they have been taught.  I can't use the same reasoning that they may not know Jesus to explain their actions to my kids.  I must teach them about the Holy Spirit. 

It is not our job to police the standards of our church members.  I have to trust that the Holy Spirit can do a much better job at it than me.  I have to teach my children to let the Holy Spirit work in people's lives and while He is working I need to show them real love and kindness - even if we differ on our standards.

Compassion and love really do make the difference.  I can still teach my kids to live a life with high standards and morals, but they must see me show compassion and love to those who differ.  Last week my middle daughter went to the hair dresser with me.  We love our hair dresser.  We have followed her from working at the salon in Wal-Mart to owning her own shop.  All of this time we have been working to get her to church.  She has piercings and is covered in tattoos.  She has spiked multi colored hair and no matter how hard she tries a few cuss words slip out every now and then.  Once again we told her we would love to see her visit the church sometime and once again she told us that she might show up one of these days.  When we got in the car my daughter asked me if I thought she would ever come to church.  I confidently said yes.  I told her that some day when she is going through a very rough time she is going to remember that our family was always kind to her and loved her even though she was different than us.  We always tipped her well and sent customers her way and she will come to us for help.  I truly believe that she will be saved one day because of compassion.

Jude 1:22 And of some have compassion, making a difference:

It really does make the difference!

Blessed above measure,

Rachel

This Winter I Hope My Electricity Bill Is Through The Roof!!!

This past Sunday in church my husband gave an illustration to enhance one of the points in his message.  The story was about a woman who finally got electricity running to her house after many years of living without it.  When the electric company came to read her meter, they found that almost no electricity had been used.  Thinking that something might be wrong with the wiring, the gentleman knocked on the door and asked the woman if her electricity was working properly.  She told him it was working just fine.  In fact, she told him that she used it every day.  As soon as the sun would go down, she would flip her switch on until she had lit all of her candles and then turn it right back off.  This woman was tapped into the power, but she was not using it.

That story immediately sent my mind to thinking.  For many years I have struggled with a battle with in me...my self vs. The Holy Spirit.  I don't think that I am alone in this battle.  I think that most active Christians struggle the same way and might not even know it.  It has only been recently that I have realized that I have a problem with it myself.  You see. I have been saved since I was a child.  I have been active in my church, gone soul winning for years, taught Sunday school classes, led ladies meetings etc.  You name a ministry and I bet I have been involved in it at one time or another.  Yet here I am at the age of 35, and as I look back I can hardly remember a time that I was doing any of those ministries under the power of the Holy Spirit.  Now don't get me wrong, I was always doing it to please the Lord.  I have always loved Him and wanted to serve Him.  My motives were never to get glory for myself and bring attention to me, but looking back now I do realize that there was not much involvement or power from the Holy Spirit.  I was like the lady in the story.  I was turning the power on just long enough to light my own candle.

Can you imagine trying to clean your house by candle light?  You could do an okay job, but you would have to work much harder than you would if you could have electricity to see by.  It would take much more time and energy to clean it by candle light and in the end it probably wouldn't look as nice as you thought it did.  Once the electricity gets flipped on, you would look around and see all the things that you never realized were left undone when you were working by candle light.

This is where I feel I am in my life right now.  I have been consciously trying to work and serve with the Holy Spirit's power in my life now.  The light switch has been turned on and now I realize that all those things that I thought I had accomplished by candle light don't look so good.  I have a long list of accomplishments and by the grace of God even some results, but how much more could there have been if I were Spirit controlled.

That is my aim now.  I never want to turn that light switch off again.  It is so easy to do things in my own power.  Got has given me a few talents and if I am not careful those talents will push the need for the Holy Spirit to the side without me even realizing it.  It is easy to need the Holy Spirit when you are not good at something or uncomfortable, but we need to determine to yield to His power when it comes to our strengths as well.

What about you?  Have you been using your "electricity"  or is your meter reading low as well?  Lets determine that this winter season our "electricity" bill will be through the roof!  (I never thought I would say that sentence!)  :)

Blessed by His grace,

Rachel

My Daughter Wants Me To Turn Into An Old Lady!

This morning I read a great blog that challenged parents to sit down with their kids and ask them this question: If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?  They were allowed to tell you anything with out consequences.  The author of that blog said that his daughter told him that she wished he didn't have a cell phone.  It gave him a new perspective.  I decided to take this challenge so I sat down with all three of my girls and asked them this question:  If you could change anything about me, what would it be?

None of the girls wanted to answer right away, but I reassured them that they wouldn't hurt my feelings and that I truly wanted to know so that I could make our relationship better.  My middle child Olivia started.  She is 9 years old and has quite the personality.  She yelled out almost immediately, "I wish you would let us watch Sponge Bob!"  That is my Olivia :)  Concerned about the important things of life!  That show drives me crazy!  Even the sound of Sponge Bob's voice is like nails on a chalkboard for me.

My youngest, India, piped in next.  She is 5 years old.  "I wish we could eat at McDonalds every day!"  Well this conversation was getting real deep!  My oldest daughter had yet to speak up and was acting very hesitant.  I reassured her she could tell me anything without getting in trouble.  Autumn is 11.  She is just entering that teenage stage of life.  She still hesitated.  Her sister piped in, "Autumn tell her that thing that mom does that embarrasses you."

Oh no, I was in for it now!  Reluctantly, Autumn said, "I wish you didn't borrow my clothes."  Autumn and I are the same size right now.  We wear the same size shoes even.  Every blue moon I will borrow something of hers to wear.  Now realize, Autumn is wearing something of mine almost every day.  I asked her why it bothered her so much that I would borrow something that was hers when she borrowed from me all of the time.  I thought she was just being stingy, but her answer almost shocked me.

She told me that when I wear her things it makes me look younger and she wanted me to look like a mom.

It was right then that I realized something about my child and I believe most children.  They are not looking for a parent that can relate to them or be hip and look cool around their friends.  They just want a mom.  I don't have to be her best friend or act like one of the teenagers to influence her.  I have to parent her.  This goes against almost everything in our society right now.  Society is pushing away that parent/child boundary and promoting that a parent turns into a child's peer.  This will never work!

Eph_6:4 ... but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Pro_22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

You can't do this by being their BFF, but you can by being their parent.

So I know what you're thinking.  Are you going to let them watch Sponge Bob?  No, my nerves can't handle it and we will not being eating at McDonalds every day.  I will wear less of Autumn's things though.  I will let her turn me into an old lady and I will do it gracefully -except maybe her shoes.  She has some really cute shoes :)

Blessed,

Rachel

That Ugly Green Dress Is Worth WHAT??????

Hideous?  Yes, I agree, but for some reason this gaudy avocado green dress caught my eye.  You see, I have a confession to make.  I am an eBay addict.  I started selling on eBay a little over a year ago and now I am addicted.  I buy vintage and name brand things at the thrift store or garage sales and turn around and sell them on EBay.  It is so much fun.  It has funded a trip to Disneyland, bought all of last years and this years Christmas presents, paid for airline tickets for our whole family to Phoenix, and a whole lot more.  I really enjoy doing it and my eyes are always on the look out for things that might sell.  One time I bought my daughter, India, a gift from the store and when we got home she had a very sad look on her face.  When I asked why she was sad she told me it was because she didn't want me to sell her toy on EBay!  I guess I can go overboard at times.

On Wednesday, I went "EBay shopping" to one of my favorite places, The Goodwill Outlet.  This is the last chance for thrift store items to sell before they get recycled.  This place is an eBayer's dream.  There are huge blue bins full of merchandise.  Nothing has price tags.  Nothing is sorted.  Everything is thrown into these bins and you dig through to find "treasure".  You load up your cart and you are charged by the pound!  Last time I went I had over 60 lbs. worth of stuff to sell.

This place is a madhouse.  Every 2 hours they take out all of the old blue bins and bring in brand new ones.  They make everyone stand behind a line painted on the floor while they are doing it.  When all of the new bins have been brought out the manager says some announcement about no running or pushing, but no one can hear him because everyone is running and pushing to grab all of the good stuff first.  It's insane!

This brings me to the hideous green dress.  I found it in one of the bins.  No one was pushing or running to get it first because lets face it - it's ugly!  I don't know why I decided to toss it in my cart.  Maybe because it looked vintage.  Maybe because when you pay by the pound I would only be paying a few cents for it.  I could just toss it out if it wasn't worth anything.  I went ahead and bought it along with about 59 pounds of other stuff.

The next day I sat down to list all of the items that I had bought.  When I looked up the brand of the dress, Paganne, I was shocked to see how much their dresses were selling for.  I was expecting $15 maybe $20, but all of the dresses by this designer were selling in the hundreds!  WHAT???  And I discovered that the dresses that were signed by the designer sold for even more.  I frantically searched the dress for a signature and guess what?  It was signed!!

Who would have thought that this ugly, hideous dress was worth something?  Not me!

This morning I was reading my devotions and I came upon this passage.

1Corinthians 1:25-29

  Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

 For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:

 But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;

 And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are:

 That no flesh should glory in his presence.

 

This dress is not valuable because of its beauty. It is not valuable because of its material - its made of polyester.  The reason that this hideous dress is valuable is because it has the signature of its maker.

 

I am so thankful that God uses the base, seemingly worthless things and puts His signature on them.  It is not our flesh that can accomplish great things, but it His hand writing His name upon our lives.  This way all the glory can go to the designer, Jesus Christ!

 

 

So blessed'

 

Rachel