"Mom, look at that woman!"

"Mom, look at that woman!" said my 5 year old as we checked out of a store yesterday.  She was referring to the cashier who had numerous body piercings and tattoos. Thank the Lord that my daughter waited until we were walking out the door to make her comment so the lady didn't hear her.  I have many stories like this with all 3 of my girls.  In this crazy world that we live in, I am sure that you do too.

And here begins the tightrope walk - that delicate balancing act of teaching them morals and standards without turning them into judgmental Christians.  And it is hard - very hard!  We have been commanded by Christ to not be conformed to this world, but to be transformed.

Rom 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
I truly believe that God has a very high standard for His people and I want my children to learn that principal, but I have to handle the process very delicately.  Giving them a list of what I believe is wrong for Christians to do will never work.  It will only make them see what everyone around them is doing wrong.  "That girl's skirt is too short!"  "That guy needs to cut his hair!"  "Did you hear that man cuss?"  You get the picture, and while all of those things might be true - pointing them out certainly doesn't help my children or the person who might be in error.

So what do we do?  Do we throw out any standards in an attempt to not be judgmental.  Do we just stop teaching our children about the fact that God wants His people to be different and act different from the world?  No way!

We need to teach our children to be transformed into the image of God.  We need to guide them in standards and morals, but most importantly they need to see us love those who don't hold to the same standards.  My husband has a saying, "Unsaved people do unsaved things - Don't be surprised by it!"  This is what I teach my children.  When they see someone who is doing something that they know is wrong or displeasing to the Lord, I try to remind them that the person may not know Jesus.  They might not have had the privilege of being raised in a Christian home.  And then we go out of our way to be kind to that person.  It teaches them compassion instead of judgment.  That is exactly what Jesus did when he walked this earth.  You never see Jesus drop His standards, but you do see him show compassion on the unsaved.

What about people that they know are saved?  Here is where the tightrope gets even harder.  There are probably no 2 people in our church with the exact same standards.  Some ladies wear pants.  Some don't.  Some people smoke.  Some don't.  Some people listen to rock music.  Some don't.  I know that it can be very confusing for kids.  They have been taught a set of guidelines from their parents and then they go to church with truly good Christian folks, but they believe a little bit differently from what they have been taught.  I can't use the same reasoning that they may not know Jesus to explain their actions to my kids.  I must teach them about the Holy Spirit. 

It is not our job to police the standards of our church members.  I have to trust that the Holy Spirit can do a much better job at it than me.  I have to teach my children to let the Holy Spirit work in people's lives and while He is working I need to show them real love and kindness - even if we differ on our standards.

Compassion and love really do make the difference.  I can still teach my kids to live a life with high standards and morals, but they must see me show compassion and love to those who differ.  Last week my middle daughter went to the hair dresser with me.  We love our hair dresser.  We have followed her from working at the salon in Wal-Mart to owning her own shop.  All of this time we have been working to get her to church.  She has piercings and is covered in tattoos.  She has spiked multi colored hair and no matter how hard she tries a few cuss words slip out every now and then.  Once again we told her we would love to see her visit the church sometime and once again she told us that she might show up one of these days.  When we got in the car my daughter asked me if I thought she would ever come to church.  I confidently said yes.  I told her that some day when she is going through a very rough time she is going to remember that our family was always kind to her and loved her even though she was different than us.  We always tipped her well and sent customers her way and she will come to us for help.  I truly believe that she will be saved one day because of compassion.

Jude 1:22 And of some have compassion, making a difference:

It really does make the difference!

Blessed above measure,

Rachel