None of the girls wanted to answer right away, but I reassured them that they wouldn't hurt my feelings and that I truly wanted to know so that I could make our relationship better. My middle child Olivia started. She is 9 years old and has quite the personality. She yelled out almost immediately, "I wish you would let us watch Sponge Bob!" That is my Olivia :) Concerned about the important things of life! That show drives me crazy! Even the sound of Sponge Bob's voice is like nails on a chalkboard for me.
My youngest, India, piped in next. She is 5 years old. "I wish we could eat at McDonalds every day!" Well this conversation was getting real deep! My oldest daughter had yet to speak up and was acting very hesitant. I reassured her she could tell me anything without getting in trouble. Autumn is 11. She is just entering that teenage stage of life. She still hesitated. Her sister piped in, "Autumn tell her that thing that mom does that embarrasses you."
Oh no, I was in for it now! Reluctantly, Autumn said, "I wish you didn't borrow my clothes." Autumn and I are the same size right now. We wear the same size shoes even. Every blue moon I will borrow something of hers to wear. Now realize, Autumn is wearing something of mine almost every day. I asked her why it bothered her so much that I would borrow something that was hers when she borrowed from me all of the time. I thought she was just being stingy, but her answer almost shocked me.
She told me that when I wear her things it makes me look younger and she wanted me to look like a mom.
It was right then that I realized something about my child and I believe most children. They are not looking for a parent that can relate to them or be hip and look cool around their friends. They just want a mom. I don't have to be her best friend or act like one of the teenagers to influence her. I have to parent her. This goes against almost everything in our society right now. Society is pushing away that parent/child boundary and promoting that a parent turns into a child's peer. This will never work!
Eph_6:4 ... but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Pro_22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
You can't do this by being their BFF, but you can by being their parent.
So I know what you're thinking. Are you going to let them watch Sponge Bob? No, my nerves can't handle it and we will not being eating at McDonalds every day. I will wear less of Autumn's things though. I will let her turn me into an old lady and I will do it gracefully -except maybe her shoes. She has some really cute shoes :)
Blessed,
Rachel
But also don't forget that girls want their Mom's to be Moms who spend time with them...which it does seem like you spend time with your girls. :)
ReplyDeleteReally cute blog! It made me chuckle, but also gave a very important point!
ReplyDeletewell this was very entertaining, I also went through this with my daughter, never understood why it was okay when she wanted to borrow something of mine but she balked when I wanted to borrow something of hers. I feel bad if that was what she was feeling too. I never would have had the guts to ask her that question for fear of the answer! She never did give me a reason but I did come to realize that there has to be a point where the parent is the parent and not a friend. This relationship I have found can be a difficult one at times but it is also so special, especially as she got older. There is a closeness that only a mother and a daughter can understand and I feel sorry for those who will never experience this. Thanks again Rachel another good point that makes one reevaluate how one lives their life and what they could be missing!
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