Thursday, November 5, 2015

Do you own a full length mirror?

Do you own a full length mirror?
Think about your home right now... do you have any full length mirrors? If so, is it placed somewhere prominently so that you can see it every day or is it in an out of the way place and used just for special occasions?

I am convinced that the majority of people do not own one. Go to Walmart and you will agree with me. So many times I see someone who looks great from the shoulders up, but are a train wreck from the shoulders down. They have tried to stuff themselves into something that questionably fit 3 years ago or they have not noticed that the skirt they chose for that day is completely sheer in the sunlight and their fruit of the loom granny panty lines are visible to the world. My husband often sees people like this and asks me this question. "Do they not own a mirror?" My answer is always, "Not a full length one!"


I started thinking about this one day.  If we wear clothes all over our body, why wouldn't we own a mirror that shows us everything? And then I gained 20 pounds and it all became very clear to me!

You see, that full length mirror that I own is on the door between my bathroom and my closet. So, you have to pass it before you get dressed.  It never bothered me before to walk past it on my way to grab my clothes, but after gaining a few pounds and not being completely comfortable with my body image, I started to contemplate moving that mirror to a new location. Actually, I started to think that I really didn't need a mirror that big in my dressing area anyways.

I believe that is what happens to a lot of people. Rather than facing the reality of what we look like, we choose to focus on just what we are comfortable with...our hair...our makeup...some are not even comfortable with that and decide to remove the mirrors completely from their home.

I believe we do the same thing with our spiritual reflections as well. So many times we avoid the situations in life that would reflect back to us what we look like spiritually.  Some avoid church. Some avoid reading their Bibles. Many start disassociating themselves with other people who might give them an honest glimpse of themselves. We start avoiding the spiritual mirrors or making them smaller so that we can only view the parts of us that we are comfortable with.

This must be why David cried out to the Lord in Psalm 139:23-24

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
David had removed the mirrors in his life because of all the sin related to Bathsheba and had come to the point where he could not self reflect anymore.  He needed help.

If you find yourself in the same position as David and you have distanced yourself from everything and everyone that might give you a glimpse of your true reflection, then start like David did. Ask God to search you and reveal to you exactly what you look like. After that, start putting those mirrors back up. It is so much better to catch a "spiritual wardrobe malfunction" before you leave the house!

Blessed,

Rachel

Monday, December 8, 2014

That Doesn't Look Light!


This, my friends, is a yoke. It is a heavy piece of wood in which two animals are placed so that they can work together to get a job done. It looks cumbersome to me so when I read in the Bible where Jesus tells us to take His yoke upon me I flinch a little. The thought of sticking my head in that contraption and pulling a heavy load does not seem like something that I want to get myself into. But in that same passage Jesus proclaims that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. 

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30 KJV)

How could a yoke be easy?  How could a burden be light?  It doesn't make any logical sense!  But rest for my soul is something that I desperately need. I am the type of person that always carries a heavy load. I try to put everything at Jesus' feet but always find myself picking it back up and trying to take care of it myself. I hate that about me. I toss and turn and fret all night if I am carrying a weight or a burden. Rest for my soul is something that I desperately desire! So many times I try to take on a heavy load all by myself. 
Recently, my husband and I were setting up for our church's Thanksgiving dinner. The help that he had been expecting to come assist with the tables could not come so he called over and asked me to come to the gym to help. I obliged and went over to help him. Now understand that my husband is a big guy 6'4" to be exact and very strong. Understanding that he could easily carry and set up these tables by himself, I wasn't putting much effort or muscle into the job. I think he just wanted the company. One time during the set up I had to sneeze and I took my hands off of my end of the table. The table didn't fall and crash to the ground as expected because I really wasn't bearing any of its weight. I was kind of walking beside it with my hands on it. My husband just shook his head and set up the table by himself and I smiled innocently. 

I realized in that moment though exactly what it means to yoke up with someone who is much stronger than you are. It makes everything so much easier. The job gets done and you are present, but the burden truly is lighter. 

And that is how it is if we will take on the yoke of Jesus. There will still be a burden to carry. There will still be jobs that have to get done. But we won't be the ones doing the heavy lifting. We will just be present as we see our Savior plowing through the problems and burdens of this life. We will be able to fellowship with him in that yoke and even have rest for our souls!  

Suddenly, that yoke is looking welcoming!  Hook me up!!!

~ Rachel



Friday, March 21, 2014

Do Not Read...Do Not Look At...Keep Out!!!!!!!


What are you doing?  With a title like that you should not be reading this!  The directions were clear!  Why didn't you follow them?  Are you a snoop?  Nosy?  Just curious?  Well, I don't know about you, but I am.  And that is why when I found this folded note on the kitchen counter, I couldn't help my self.

I walked past it several times.  I picked it up and started to unfold it, but then I put it back down.  Finally, when my curiosity could take no more...I opened it and read it...and my heart melted.


This is what it said...

Dear Lord,
I was wondering off and on this year in school how you answer when I pray.  I pray, but I don't know when you answer.  Do you answer by word or a miracle.  I don't know, but can you show me a sign please and tell me soon.
Bye

The note was written by my middle daughter.  She was 8 when she wrote it.  I came to find out later that it had fallen out of her diary.  As I read that letter and started to realize that I missed something important.  As seasoned Christian parents, sometimes we take for granted that our next generation Christian children understand the things that we tell them.

We tell them - God answers prayers.
We tell them - God does miracles.
We tell them - God will show you what to do.
We tell them - Have faith in God.

But we never show them how.

After reading my daughters note I came up with a plan.  I decided that our family was going to start a prayer journal.  We were going to start writing down our prayer requests in a book and writing down when and how God answered them.  I wanted to show my girls that God hears our prayers and cares about even the little things in our lives.  Sometimes we are just to busy to give Him the credit.

We have 2 entries of answered prayer in our book right now (we just started it last week).

-The first was about minion hats.  Yes, God even cares about minion hats!  The girls had Spirit week and had to dress up like Minions.  I was in charge of costumes and we were on the hunt for yellow ski caps.  NO ONE had them.  After 12 stores we were about to give up.  My daughter was almost in tears.  I pulled the car into a parking lot and we prayed that the Lord would help us find them in the only store left in town.  We needed four of them.  After praying, we entered the last store and fro the door I could see what looked like yellow hats in the very back of the store.  We raced back and wouldn't you know there were exactly 4 yellow ski caps and they were even ON SALE!!!!!  You should have seen the cashier as my girls talked over one another telling her that God had answered our prayer.  It was priceless.  We wrote it in our book.

-The next entry is from last night.  I redid our basement for my husband into an Ohio State Mancave.  I found a really good deal on Craigslist for reclining theater seats.  My youngest was playing with the buttons on one of the chairs making it go up and down and it stopped working.  Hubby is away for a few days and I dreaded telling him that his new chair is broken and stuck in a fully reclined position.  I know nothing about motors and electricity so there was nothing I could do but pray.  All 4 of us girls held hands and prayed that that silly chair would start working again.  I sent the grls upstairs to eat lunch and told them we would try it again after lunch.  In my heart I was praying that God would show Himself real to my kids again.  Not because of the silly chair, but to make an impact on them.  Wouldn't you know, we all went downstairs after lunch, I pushed the button, and the chair worked!  We wrote it in our book.

I am just determined to not only tell my kids what the Lord can do but to show them as well.  I want to realize when the Lord is working and point it out to my children.  They deserve that.

P.S.  I did get my daughters permission to share this :)

So Blessed,
Rachel


Saturday, February 8, 2014

An Excerpt From The Book I Am Writing.


Several years ago my world was rocked.  My faith was shaken and I was struggling.  I was struggling with God.  I was struggling with the Bible.  I was struggling with the question "why".

I am a Pastor's wife.  I had been in church all my life.  Yet, when the winds and storms started blowing in my life; I realized my foundation felt a bit shaky.

You see, two people that I was very close to passed away - my Pastor and one of my best friends.  These were good people who were serving the Lord with all of their hearts.  They were both young.  They both had families and children.  It didn't make any sense for God to take them home.

In my heart I could reconcile the fact that God;s ways are higher than man's and He knows what is best.  I could deal with that, but there was something that was just not making any sense to me. THE BIBLE.

You see during both of my friends battle with cancer I scoured the Bible searching how to pray for them.  I came across so many verses about faith.  Verses that told me that if I ask anything in Jesus name He will do it.  So I asked Him to heal my friends.  But He didn't.  I came across verses that told me that I could tell a mountain to move and it would if I just believed.  So I did.  The cancer didn't leave.  I came across verses that said that if my friends were anointed with oil and prayed over and confessed their sin that the prayer of faith would save them.  They were anointed.  It didn't save their lives.  They both died.  And I began reeling.

How could I minister to people and comfort them from the Scriptures when the Scriptures didn't seem true.  How could I continue to be a Pastor's wife.  I was struggling.  Either the Bible wasn't true or there was something about it that I was not understanding.  So I began to ask.  I began to search and praise God he brought spiritual servants of God across my path to show me the key to understanding the Bible that I was missing.

This book came about from my journey.  It is a fictional account of people going through the same journey that I was on.  It is still in the editing stages, but I thought I would post a few chapters to get some feedback.

The title of the book is:  All Things
Chapter 1
Time was of the essence. Pastor Jared Kirkpatrick glared at the bronze clock sitting on the ornate mantel of the fireplace in his office. The clock had a face of solid marble and hands carved out of ivory.  Estimated to be worth thousands of dollars, the clock had been a gift from one of his wealthy political friends, of which Jared had quite a few. In fact, many were members of his church. As his eyes scanned around his office they fell on several expensive gifts from influential people of his community. Jared loved to show off all of these special gifts . . . but most of all, the clock. As people admired and asked about the beautiful bronze clock, he would drop the name of his wealthy patron in a usually successful attempt to impress his admirer. However, today was so completely different. There was to be no admiring of that clock or any of his other trinkets. Today that clock brought only frustration and a sense of disgust.
As second after second ticked away, Pastor K, as most people referred to him, only grew ever more anxious. It was a Sunday morning and already 10:15. Although the immense auditorium was newly constructed, it was all already filled to capacity with sixteen thousand souls. He had nothing to preach to them, nothing fresh at least. Worse yet, his mind seemed completely blank. He could hear the praise and worship team hyping the crowd, just like he paid them to. That’s why he hired the best talent.  They knew how to stoke people’s adrenalin, which insured a positive response to whatever he preached. After 45 minutes of singing and testifying, it was soon his turn to take over the service. Yet, with so little time, he had still had nothing new and fresh. And nothing was coming to him. Pastor K could hear voices getting louder and the footsteps running down the hallway. He knew they were looking for him. He knew he had to hurry, but this only added pressure, not results. He had nothing to offer these people.
 Nothing had stirred his soul for quite some time. Eight years ago, when he had first taken over the church from his father, he never remembered struggling like this as he developed his sermons. Maybe the excitement from the newness of his position made the difference. He wasn’t sure. Maybe he had preached everything he knew. Back then he could remember being so excited to share with the people what he had gathered from his studies. Of course, the church was much smaller too. Its size had nearly quadrupled since he incorporated a more contemporary spin to the church’s structure. His father was a great preacher, but too old fashioned to really build a huge work. In fact, Pastor John Kirkpatrick was old school. He didn’t use the fancy lighting or the worship teams. He preferred tent meetings with organ music. Though their methods differed, their outcomes were still the same: lots of singing, crying and testifying. Father and son were very similar in their styles. Pastor K just updated and modernized what his father had begun. When Pastor K started doing a monthly healing service broadcast live, finding a parking space within walking distance was always a challenge. His father had done healing services too, minus the technology Pastor K incorporated.
Services were more energized and exciting then ever been before. But in the past year or two, no matter how hard he tried, he no longer could come up with new material. It was like this every week. Sure, there was lots of hype and excitement. There were dynamic programs and record breaking results. People from all over the world accredited changes in their lives and health to him. People from all over the state of Arizona packed the auditorium each and every week just to hear him speak, to watch his faith, to see people healed. Yet, each and every Sunday, Pastor Jared Kirkpatrick glared at the same clock and had the same struggle within. He just had nothing spiritual to give them. He had words to say, but he knew there was no power behind what he said.
 Oh sure, he could motivate them. There were no problems in Pastor K’s ability to motivate. After all they had just built a $78 million dollar building and that mortgage would not be hanging over their heads for long. The funds were already starting to pour in after last week’s healing telethon. They had raised millions already and all he had to do was stay up a little bit later than normal and pray over people’s text messages and emails - for a donation to the ministry of course. No, motivating people was not the problem.
 Feeding people with flowery motivational speeches over the last couple of years had been just fine. After all, that’s what his audiences wanted. They wanted to come to a church that didn’t make them feel guilty or place upon them any moral expectations. Though you might find few who would admit it, much of his followers had come from other stricter denominations and churches. They simply grew tired of obeying rules and felt they could serve the Lord their own way. They wanted to leave church each week feeling motivated and good about themselves, not hearing that Christians needed to repent or turn away from the world. The people wanted to be encouraged and leave energized. Others came for the special healing for their diseases and ailments. They wanted to see miracles. They wanted to feel something supernatural. And each and every week, Pastor K delivered on cue. Yet, every Sunday morning sitting at his desk brought the same inner struggle to Jared.
 He slammed his Bible closed and barked out loud, “I’ve got nothing.” His fist pounded the top of his mahogany desk.
 Once again he glared at the bronze clock. Showtime in ten. Jared knew he had to quickly work some excitement up within himself. He slid the bottom drawer of his desk open and pulled out a silver flask. Pastor Kirkpatrick was not normally a heavy drinker, just socially, but this morning he needed a special helping of the “Spirit.” He just didn’t have it and there was no way he was going to face that crowd without some help from his old friend Mr. Beam. He took a swig. And another. And another. After he popped a few mints in his mouth, Pastor K grabbed last week’s message and headed out the door. He would just rearrange it and add a few different illustrations. He had done this numerous times before and no one ever seemed to notice or care. As Pastor Jared Kirkpatrick rounded the corner, he realized that he had left something on his office desk. He sent one of his aides to fetch it. It just wouldn’t look right if he approached the pulpit without a Bible.




Chapter 2
     “I think we need about 20 more minutes of singing before they are primed.” Amelia adjusted her earpiece.
      This crowd was a tough one tonight. Usually by now there would be tears flowing and people jumping out of their seats waving their arms as if they were going to fly away.
     “Get the worship singers out there again. Slow down the music and turn the temperature up five more degrees.”
     The worship singers made their way back out onto the platform.
      “Make sure you show lots of energy and emotion. Squeeze some tears out if you can.” Amelia spoke into her headset. “Oh, and make them stand. This is taking way too long.”
     Amelia couldn’t figure out why this particular crowd was so difficult to win over. She was an expert at audience manipulation. It was her job. She could produce tears or anger, sadness or exuberance, shame or pity; all by changing lights, temperature, music, and mood lighting. It really was a science. She had her Master’s degree from Cornell University in this very art. She could have a crowd eating out of the palm of her hand simply by speaking into her headset and giving commands to her technicians. Amelia had worked for rock musicians, politicians, and movie producers since graduating, but this was a first. Never in a million years had she thought a church would have any interest in hiring her.
 Nine months ago a representative for The Oasis Church contacted her asking if she would be interested in working for their ministry. The job didn’t pay quite as much as her other gigs – almost, but not quite. But it would mean that she could settle down and stop traveling so much. Most of Pastor K’s messages were preached from Phoenix. She would only have to travel when he traveled to speak. Putting down roots sounded really good to Amelia. Her daughter was about to turn 5 at the time and would need to start kindergarten the following year. Life as a single mom is never easy, but a single mom traveling the country with a baby and a bunch of rock stars complicates matters beyond comprehension. Amelia wasted little time accepting the position at The Oasis Church. Church wasn’t really her thing, but this wasn’t really like going to church. This was her job.
     The lead singer of the worship team, Tabby, was standing on the edge of the platform. Tears were streaming down her face. Her arms were stretched up to the sky, and she was gently swaying left and right. The audience mimicked her movements. Tabby was a pro. She was a trained musician and actress--just what was needed to head up Pastor K’s worship team. Usually, he would tell Tabby the gist of his message, whether he wanted the people happy, sad, excited, or fearful when he entered the pulpit. Tabby picked just the right songs, gave just the right testimony and mustered up just the right emotion. By the time Pastor K entered the pulpit, the people were putty in his hands.
“I want to hear from Jesus tonight,” Tabby said in her soft southern voice, “What about you?”
The crowd answered back, “Yesssssss!”
“I know I need to hear from Him tonight. How about you? Do you need to hear from him tonight?”
“Yessssss!!” The crowd replied. Many now were in tears.
“Keep it up Tabby, they’re almost ready.” Amelia spoke into her headset. “One more worship song. Have them sing ‘Jesus, fill me’.”
Amelia knew that Pastor K had planned to “slay” the crowd in the Spirit tonight. That song would prep the audience for him to come out and do it right away. They would sing those same words 30 or 40 times until it was ingrained in their subconscious and would easily follow the command to be “slain.”
The crowd swayed back and forth singing “Jesus, fill me. Fill me with Your Spirit. Fill me. Fill me. Fall on me today.” They sang it over and over with their hands locked together and their arms stretched up into the air.
Amelia looked over the crowd and smiled to herself. They were eating out of the palm of her hand. “I think they are ready for you, Pastor K,” she spoke into her headset.
While the worship song was still sung quietly in the background, Pastor K quietly made his way to the center of the stage. People still had their hands locked together and arms stretched into the air as the audience hushed.
“I sense the Holy Spirit is in this place, tonight!” Pastor K moved closer to the edge of the platform. “Do you want His filling?”
“Yessssss!” The audience shouted.
“Do you want it tonight?” Pastor K walked to the far side of the platform.
“Yesssss!!” The reply was growing more ecstatic each time it was asked.
“If you want the Spirit to fall upon you tonight, you have to have faith. You have to believe that He will do this. The Bible describes his filling like a rushing wind. His filling is strong and powerful. This is the kind of power that you don’t want to miss. The kind of power that knocks you back; so that you know HE IS LORD!”
Pastor K was nearly shouting now. The audience was responding back, “Yes, He is Lord!!”
“Then in the name of Jesus Christ, BE FILLED!!!!” Pastor K shouted this last command and pushed his palm toward the audience.
A gasp went through the crowd and 16,000 people were knocked back into their seats all at once.
Amelia Bannan nodded her head in approval and high fived her assistant, Lynn. “We did it.”




Chapter 3
     Adam and Kara just stared at each other. Could they have heard right?
     “Could you repeat that?” Adam asked Doctor Hansen.
     Dr. Hansen smiled at the young couple. Many times when he sat across his desk from patients, he wasn’t delivering good news. But on this rare occasion, he got this pleasure. It was probably the only reason he was still in this line of work.
Dr. Hansen leaned forward, a huge smile beginning to form at the corners of his mouth.
     “I said the cancer has disappeared. I did the scan myself and had three colleagues offer their opinions. We all have come to the same conclusion, Kara. You are cancer free.”
     Adam pulled Kara into his chest and kissed her on the top of the head. He couldn’t speak right now. He just buried his face in her hair and tried to regain his composure. He wasn’t a crier. Even when they had received the bad news of her having cancer, he hadn’t allowed himself to cry. At least not when anyone could see him. He had to be strong – for Kara and for their two girls, Meg and Tessa. But now the doctor was saying that he didn’t have to be strong anymore. He was saying that this awful nightmare of the past year was behind them. Try as he might to hold back his tears, Adam Gardner couldn’t. The lump in his throat that he had been trying to swallow was literally about to burst out.
     Kara could see her strong husband crumbling. It was about time that he let it all out. Dr. Hansen had left the room to give them some privacy. She turned around and pulled his head down on her shoulder. She kissed the top of his head.
     “Go ahead, Adam. Let it out.” Kara buried her face in his hair while he sobbed tears that had been bottled up for months. It seemed like the whole world stopped for them right there and then.
A gentle knock on the door brought Adam back to reality. He wiped his shirt sleeve across his eyes and quickly stood to his feet. It was Dr. Hansen checking in on them. He gave them some follow-up instructions. He wanted Kara to do a few more precautionary radiation treatments. When Adam and Kara started out the door for their car, Dr. Hansen was literally scratching his head in amazement. He had never seen anything like this before. The tumor in Kara’s liver had disappeared. Last month he had given the Gardner’s a prognosis that was not very optimistic. Her body had failed to respond to any of the treatments. He had even given her a new kind of drug still in the testing phase, but he placed little hope in its effectiveness. Only a miracle would save that young woman from impending death and now it appeared they had gotten their miracle. The doctor was anxious to begin his report concerning the results of this new drug. And Dr. Hansen was happy for them. It was very depressing to watch people die from cancer especially when they were young and had a family dependent upon them. Kara Gardner had two girls under age ten. Kara was an unbelievable mom and took such good care of them. Adam was a nice enough guy, but Dr. Hansen just couldn’t picture him being able to balance work and kids. Yes, it was a good thing that Kara had gotten her miracle.
“We have to celebrate.” Adam started up the engine of their minivan. “Do you realize that today is our anniversary too?”
Kara hadn’t even given the anniversary a second thought. In the past few months she hadn’t been keeping track of anything except how many more days she had left with her husband and children. The thought consumed her every waking moment. She had already started to write letters to the girls for all the special occasions that she would miss in their lives. Just last week she had wept over the letter that Adam would give to Meg on her wedding day. She had made scrapbooks for Tessa with lots of picture of herself holding Tessa. The thought that little Tessa would probably not even remember her crushed her spirit the most.
“Yes, we definitely need to celebrate. But before we go out, can we stop by the church? Pastor K will be so excited to hear our news!” Kara asked.
Two weeks earlier, Pastor K had held one of his monthly healing services. It was an amazing night. Kara and Adam arrived three hours early to insure a seat close to the front. They knew that Kara’s only hope was a miracle. The doctors said that there was nothing more that they could do for her. They had told her to make the most of the days she had left. But Kara could feel inside of her – she could feel in every fiber of her being that her life wasn’t over.
Adam had to almost carry her up to the platform to be prayed over. Pastor K never claimed to have any special powers of healing. He always said that the healing came from the Lord; he was just the vessel that poured out the oil. He always stressed that it was your faith that would make you whole. Some people just could not believe that the Lord could do the impossible and therefore could not receive His healing.
Kara had been reading in her devotions everyday about faith. Just that week she had been reading in James. In James 5:14 and 15 Kara came across these verses.
 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up…
 Kara read the passage over and over again. This time she read the words very carefully. As her finger trailed along each word of the passage Kara became more and more hopeful. The third time she read the verses her finger stopped on the word – “shall.” James chapter 5 verse 15 was saying that if the elders of the church anointed her with oil and prayed over her; the prayer of faith SHALL raise her up! That was a promise. Kara had always been taught to look for those “promise” words in the Bible. She took out her yellow highlighter and marked the word “shall.”
She immediately called her husband on his cell phone. Adam was in the living room, but because she was so weak she used her cell phone so she did not have to try to holler through the house. Adam was downstairs watching his Arizona Diamondbacks play the Pittsburgh Pirates when his phone rang.
“Adam, you have to come up here right now!”
Adam didn’t know whether to be worried or not. Kara sounded nearly out of breath. He hadn’t heard that much excitement in her voice in months. Adam quickly bounded up the stairs taking two at a time. He had taken his shoes off at the door when he came home and was now in stocking feet. As he sprinted down the hallway on the hardwood floor, Adam’s feet slid out from under him and he crashed into Kara’s bedroom and landed square on his backside with a thud.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” Adam said from the floor looking up at his startled wife.
“What in the world are you running for? I just wanted to show you something.” Kara put her hand over her mouth to suppress the giggle that was trying to come out.
“I thought something was wrong! You said come up right now.” Adam pulled himself up off the floor. His pants were covered in dust from the floor. A twinge of guilt ran through him as he realized he hadn’t been doing a very good job of keeping the house clean. Kara had always kept it spotless, but when she became too weak to do it anymore he had promised to pitch in.
“No dear,” Kara smiled. “Nothing is wrong. Actually, I wanted to show you some good news.”
Adam was confused. A million thoughts ran through his head of what his sick wife possibly had to show him. He sat down on the edge of the bed and waited for her explanation.
Kara scooted over so she could lay her Bible on both of their laps and show him the passage in James chapter 5 that she had just read. Adam read the passage through several times. He saw that she had highlighted the word “shall.” Adam smiled at his wife. Her faith in the Lord had always amazed him. They were both believers and both of them attended and served in their church, but Kara’s relationship with the Lord was on a completely different level than his. In fact, she was a stronger Christian than most of the people they fellowshipped with at their church.
“You’re claiming this, aren’t you?” Adam read the verse one more time – the prayer of faith SHALL save the sick. It sure did seem like that was a promise.
“Adam, how could I not claim it? It’s our only hope.” Kara’s eyes were wide and she was praying in her heart that the Lord would give her husband the same faith that she had.
“But what does it mean by “the prayer of faith”? Adam knew that the Lord could heal his wife. There was no doubt in the Lord’s ability, but Adam had always thought that the primary key for any healing was the Lord’s will, not the individual’s faith. When he read this verse again, it seemed to be saying that the Lord would save her if they had enough faith.
“I’m not sure exactly. Why don’t we call the church and see if one of the pastors can come over and clearly explain the verse.” Kara was a little disappointed. She had hoped her husband would have had the same reaction she did when he saw the verse. Kara knew that Pastor K would have a healing service at the end of the week and now she desperately wanted to go.
Adam promised to call the church first thing in the morning. In the mean time, they decided that each of them would do their own Bible study on the topic of faith. Kara had already been doing her own research about prayer and faith in the Bible. She was confident that Adam would come to the same conclusion she had come to after he read the faith verses.
 Kara slipped a piece of paper out of her Bible and handed it to Adam. “Here, honey, start with these passages.”
Adam just shook his head and smiled at his wife. “Why do I feel like I just got set up?”
Kara laughed. “Just read them and tell me what you think.” Kara’s face became much more serious. “I love you, Adam, and I want to spend many more years with you. We can’t rule anything out. We’ve got to try.”
Adam nodded and took the piece of notebook paper back downstairs. He placed it on the coffee table and picked up the remote. Adam turned the volume back up on the Diamondbacks’ game. It was the bottom of the eighth inning and the score was tied at two. He would read his wife’s study notes when the game was over. He tried his best to focus on the game, but the last words that came from his precious wife kept echoing through his mind.
 “I want to spend many more years with you. We can’t rule anything out.”
No, Adam couldn’t chance losing his dear wife. She was everything to him. He knew without her his life would fall apart. She was his glue. She really was the whole family’s glue. She kept everything running smoothly, even now that she was too weak to get up – she still kept everyone organized and motivated. The girls hadn’t missed one swim practice, dance recital, or horseback lesson yet. If she had her cell phone near her she could orchestrate anything. Concentration on the game was over; Adam clicked the TV remote and picked up Kara’s notes. She had written on the top in big bold letters the word – FAITH????
Adam was about to reach for his Bible when he realized that his wife had written out each verse and even whole chapters in their entirety. She had notes scribbled all down the sides of the paper and words highlighted in every passage. She indeed was quite serious about studying this matter in great depth.
The first verse she had written down was Matthew 7:7. Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
Underneath the verse Kara had written: I am asking, Lord – no, I’m begging!
It was so hard for Adam to keep reading. These were his wife’s most intimate thoughts to the Lord, but she had handed them to him. She wanted him to see them. Adam read further.
Matthew 18:19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.
     The words written under this passage brought tears to his eyes. Kara had drawn a big question mark and written – I don’t understand. Adam and I and many others have all prayed for my healing. We have agreed! When will you do it, Father?
The next passage that Kara had written down was a lengthy one, but Adam could tell that it was one of her favorites. She had circled it several times and highlighted every word of one of the verses. She had even drawn a big smiley face in the margin beside it.

Matthew 21:18-22 Now in the morning as he returned into the city, he hungered.
And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward forever. And presently the fig tree withered away.
And when the disciples saw it, they marveled, saying, How soon is the fig tree withered away!
Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.
And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
     Adam read the words in verse 21 that Kara had highlighted. “If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.” Kara had furiously circled the words – “and doubt not”.
     Adam was beginning to feel the hope that he saw in his wife. With every passage he read from her notes, Adam became more and more confident that the Lord was going to heal his wife. They just needed to believe and not doubt.
 Adam picked up the phone and dialed the number for the Oasis Church. He had promised his wife that he would call to ask for help understanding what exactly the “prayer of faith” meant. After several minutes on hold, Adam was told by a secretary that none of the pastors were available to come out and make a visit to their home. She did, however, let him know that he was welcome to come by the bookshop and purchase the DVD of last month’s healing service. She said that Pastor K preached an amazing sermon about faith. She assured him that the DVD would answer all of his questions.
     Adam was a bit discouraged that no one had the time to make a visit with his family, but he understood that in a ministry of that magnitude it must be very difficult to help everyone. He picked up the DVD on his way home from work the next day. He and Kara watched it together. Pastor K did indeed preach a moving message. He confirmed the conclusion that both Kara and her husband had reached. They just needed to have true faith. Nothing wavering. No doubts. And they didn’t. Adam and Kara went to the next healing service fully convinced that she would be healed. She was anointed with oil and prayed over, just like the Bible showed them to do in the book of James. They walked out of the service truly convinced that Kara’s cancer was gone. That next day was Kara’s scheduled appointment with Dr. Hansen for a full body scan.
Now as Adam and Kara sat in the car, wiping away their tears of joy over the news that the tumor was gone; they thanked God for His miraculous works to the children of men. And they wanted to thank Pastor K for being God’s willing vessel.




Chapter 4
Heather heard shouting coming from the basement. She assumed that her husband was watching the Cleveland Browns get pummeled by some other football team again. It amazed her that he was such a loyal fan despite the fact that they had been away from Cleveland for so many years. It had been ten years since them moved to Arizona to start a church, but from the way her husband Wes rooted for every Ohio-based team, no one could ever guess that they had been gone from Ohio for so long. Heather grabbed a diet cola and some pretzels to take down to her husband for a snack. Food always seemed to make the sting of another Brown’s loss hurt less.
“I brought you something to take your mind off the game.” Heather said as she walked down the stairs to the family room.
“I’m not watching a game.” Wes took the diet cola and pretzels anyway.
Heather looked at the screen. “Then what has you so riled up that you are hollering at the TV?”
Wes turned up the volume on the TV and replied, “Pastor Jared Kirkpatrick, that’s who.”
Heather sat down on the couch next to her husband. She listened for a few minutes as a very dynamic preacher, with a very large church spoke about planting seeds of faith. Pastor K really was an entertaining speaker. He was humorous and dramatic. He moved all around the platform and engaged his audience. But Heather also could see why his preaching was driving her husband crazy – the message was absent of the most important element—the scriptures! To top it off, the scriptures that he did use were taken totally out of context and sounded more like a passage from a modern novel than the Bible. Pastor K mainly used personal illustrations and funny stories to drive home his point.
This kind of preaching always got under her husband’s skin. He had grown up in a church very similar to this and had believed in and participated in this kind of “worship” for years. In fact, the first church that her husband, Wes Cambell, had pastored was very similar to the church that they were watching on TV. The similarities were not in the size of the churches, the Cambell’s only had a little over one hundred people in their church. It was the message and the philosophy. For five years Wes Cambell had tried to “create” faith in his people. As the pastor, Wes felt it was his job to motivate people to live a more fulfilled life.
Every Sunday he would speak about living abundantly. He would tell his congregation that it was not the will of the Lord for anyone to be sick or poor or discouraged. He would tell his congregation that God had a bigger plan for his children. After all, they were heirs together with God. Wes really believed back then that it was God’s will for every Christian to be wealthy, healthy and prosperous. It just required true faith. You just had to change the way you looked at things and the way you talked about things. If you are always talking about how poor you are or how bad you feel then you are not practicing true faith. He would take them to passages in the Bible like Proverbs 12:18 where the Bible says that the tongue of the wise is health. From there he would preach a whole message about positive speaking. He would tell his people that they could command miracles from the Lord. “Tell that mountain to move and it must obey you.”
As Wes Cambell listened to Pastor Kirkpatrick preach, he heard many phrases that he himself had used on his people. Daggers of guilt pierced through his heart every time he thought about the opportunities he had wasted in that first church that he had pastored. He had just been repeating the same message he had heard growing up. When he was preaching those messages, he truly believed in what he was telling the people. In fact, he practiced the methods that he taught in his own life. Wes Cambell knew however, that he was neglecting the study of the scriptures. He had been trained in seminary that the Holy Spirit would tell him what to preach. The scriptures were helpful but the Holy Spirit would give him a revelation as to what to say to the people. Many times, Wes would stand in front of his congregation with no notes or outline and just say whatever came to his mind. He believed it was given to him by the Holy Spirit.
A small tear began to form in the corner of her eye as Heather Cambell watched Pastor K anoint a group of people with oil and pray over them. A memory that was almost too painful to relive again began to surface. Heather remembered kneeling that same way near the pulpit of a church. Once again she could feel the coolness of the oil dripping onto her forehead and down her temple. But most of all she could remember how she felt that night. Confident. Confident that the Lord would finally bless her with a child.
There was nothing in this entire world that Heather and Wes wanted more than a baby. They decided to start a family right away. Heather had dreamed about being a mother her whole life. She was naturally drawn to children and she was wonderful with them. Three months after their wedding, they discovered that Heather was pregnant. They went through the whole baby preparation process. They bought the crib and decorated the nursery. They had the baby shower and took pregnancy family pictures. They picked out names and bought the first outfit. Heather was on cloud nine. She couldn’t have been any happier.
Wes and Heather normally attended each doctor’s visit together, but on one particular day Wes had a meeting to go to so Heather had to go alone. She was in her third trimester and feeling fine. The doctor decided to hook up a fetal monitor so Heather could hear the baby’s heart beating. As the doctor was attempting to find the heartbeat, Heather remembered the concern on his face as he looked up at her and asked how she was doing. Heather’s heart began to race as she realized that there was something wrong with her baby. The doctor could not find a heartbeat. Immediately, she was rushed to the hospital. Heather remembered trying to contact her husband. She kept calling his phone over and over again but he never answered. She would come to learn later that he had accidentally left his cell phone in his car while in his meeting.
There in that cold hospital room all by herself she was told that her baby was dead. No one knew why or could give her any explanation as to what happened. They sent her home with a dead baby in her womb and scheduled her to come back the following evening to deliver the deceased child. Heather waited on the couch of her home until her husband, Wes, came home from work. When he walked in the door and looked at her he immediately knew that someone had died. Her eyes were swollen and her face was splotchy. She looked at him and without saying a word put his hand on her swollen belly. All she did was shake her head and he knew that he had lost his firstborn son. Grief overwhelmed them. It would hit even harder the next day when Heather had to go through the excruciating labor pains of child birth only to be handed a cold lifeless body wrapped up in the special blanket that she had embroidered with her son’s name.
Heather and Wes were overcome with sorrow, but their church rallied around them with prayer and comfort. The Lord helped them heal and soon they were ready to try again. Never in their worst nightmare could they have imagined what the next several years would hold. Heather conceived again. They went through the baby preparation process again. Crib. Nursery. Pictures. Names. Baby Shower. Everything was ready.
Heather was at home one ordinary Saturday morning. She was in her third trimester and feeling a bit huge but otherwise fine. Suddenly, she realized how long it had been since she last felt the baby move. This was unusual because the little girl she was carrying was a very active kicker. Just to be on the safe side they decided to head to the E.R. to insure that everything was okay. The doctor at the hospital hooked up a fetal monitor to Heather trying to find the baby’s heartbeat. It was déjà vu all over again.
They could find no heart beat. They could give no explanation. All they knew was that their baby girl was dead. And once again Heather had to go through the delivery process again. Only to be handed a cold, blue baby girl wrapped in the pink blanket Heather had embroidered with her name.
The doctors could offer no explanation. They did all kinds of tests on her and on her deceased baby, but still no cause could be determined why this child too had died. Heather and Wes were now terrified to have another baby but the doctors assured them that the chances of this happening a third time was very unlikely. They could find no medical reason that the other two children had passed away. Still, the pain and hurt from losing two children made Heather and Wes postpone having anymore children.
Heather didn’t know if she could ever try again for a baby. The hurt was just too much to bear. She knew that she would lose her mind if she ever lost another baby. She had almost decided it was not worth the pain of trying again when she learned that she was pregnant. As Heather read the test in the bathroom she immediately bent over the commode and lost the contents of her stomach. She knew this was not morning sickness but sheer fear. It was from the terror that she felt in her heart.
Heather didn’t tell Wes or anyone else for three full weeks. She knew that she had to get a tighter control on her emotions before she could share the news with anyone. For those three weeks Heather wrestled with God. She spent hours in prayer asking God why he would do this to her. She desired peace. She needed comfort. She found neither.
When Heather finally told Wes about the baby, He was ecstatic. Heather was shocked. She was sure that he would have the same fears and trepidation that she did. Yet, he was so calm. He was sure that God would give them this child. Wes shared with her that he believed God wanted them to be shining examples of faith for their church family.
God wanted to show Himself strong through their example. They would announce the coming of this baby to the church and claim God’s healing promises on Heather. They would believe and not doubt. After all, Wes announced in church, “If we ask for anything in Jesus name, He will give it to us.” Wes proclaimed that the Lord only wants the best things for His children. We are joint-heirs with Jesus and we have the power to claim all of the promises in the Bible.
With every powerful word spoken by Wes from the pulpit, Heather grew more and more confident that the Lord would give her a baby this time. Slowly over the next month as she listened to her husband preach about true faith she began to experience that feeling too. She decided to call the elders of the church and ask to be anointed with oil. It was a sweet, sweet service. Heather and Wes were surrounded by the loving, caring members of their church as the elders anointed Heather and prayed for the precious little baby inside of her womb. Heather and Wes were the embodiment of faith. A real life example for their people.
They just knew that the Lord would show himself strong and mighty by giving them a healthy baby this time. This was their third baby shower. They picked a name and again decorated the nursery. Heather even embroidered another blanket, and they knew the result would be different this time.
But once again, in the third trimester, Heather was told that her baby boy was dead. That was the moment that her world completely unraveled. It wasn’t from sorrow. Yes, she was very sad about losing another baby, but this time it was different. This time she had put herself out there as a public example of faith. The Lord was supposed to prove Himself mighty through their lives. How could everything go so terribly wrong?
Heather was confused and bewildered. She knew she had obeyed the Bible, especially the book of James. She had been anointed and had truly believed. She knew there was no doubt in her heart. She had confessed all of her sins. What had gone wrong? Heather was desperate to know and the more she studied the more confused she became. There were just so many verses about having true faith, but they just didn’t seem to work.

Heather came to the conclusion that one of two things had happened. Either the Bible was a book of lies or she wasn’t understanding something about the Bible. It was like there was a hidden key to understanding the Bible but she lacked the key. She didn’t know for sure which of scenario was right, but either way she felt as if the Bible was totally useless to her. 

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Thank God for the Mess!!



I was sitting in my living room this week when the walls started to shake.  The pictures on the walls were falling off the nails.  My husband was not home at the time so I had to assess the problem myself.  I waited a few minutes and the shaking stopped.  I thought, "Wonderful!  No more problem!"  Ignoring situations is my way of dealing with things.  Five minutes later when my furnace kicked on the shaking started again.  I went down to my laundry room where my furnace was located and saw that it had black smoke billowing out of it. (That's not good!)  I went back upstairs and sat on the couch.  My husband would be home in a few minutes and I would let him deal with it.  After all, if I can't see the problem - it will go away, right?  As I sat there I started to smell gas fumes.  Now I couldn't ignore it.  I grabbed the kids and headed out of the door.  I looked back almost positive that my house was going to blow up any minute.  We were all in our pajamas and I thought to myself : "These aren't even my favorite pair.  If I am going to be left with only the clothes on my back I wish I would have changed first!"  We took shelter in the gymnasium of our church while we waited for my husband to get home - in our pajamas.  And of course it was full of people.  There was a basketball game going on.

The next day the repair man came and fixed it.  He informed us that we were lucky the whole house didn't catch fire.  In the process of repairing it everything in my laundry room got caked in black soot.  I had just recently painted and remodeled that room.  So you can guess how I have spent many hours today.  Scrubbing and re-scrubbing EVERYTHING!!!  I look a bit like the chimney sweep from Mary Poppins.

I was frustrated!  Very frustrated!  Until I thought about how lucky I was to have things to scrub.  You see God reminded me of several friends of mine who just recently lost everything they had in a tornado in Washington, IL.  That is the town that I grew up in.  As I follow them on Facebook I see the struggles they are having building back their houses from the ground up.  They are having to list every item that they owned and research replacement prices for new items for their insurance companies.  Can you imagine the headache of that?  Yet they are not complaining.  They are thanking the Lord that their lives were spared.

So today, I will scrub each item with joy, because it very possibly could have all been taken away in a fiery explosion.  And I will remember that in every trial I face, someone has it worse than I do.



A blessed mess,
Rachel